Our Third Language

Here in Puerto Rico, Spanish is our official language.  English is taught in all schools as a secondary language, and in this day and age, a fair portion of the population is bilingual.  My father used to emphasize the importance of maintaining fluidity and correctness in both languages, and for that I’ve always been grateful.

However, it is my belief that some of us are actually trilingual, as there is another “language” we have been forced to master.  I credit the discovery of this third “language” to one of my brothers, and it occurred some years ago.

It seems my brother was having some construction done in his house, and the contractor, who spoke only Spanish, informed my brother that he had to purchase some “waimé.”  Needless to say, my brother was initially thrown for a loop, thinking maybe there was some new construction material he hadn’t heard of before.

After several minutes of head scratching and frustration on both sides, my brother finally had one of those “AHA!” moments when he realized the contractor wanted him to buy some wire mesh.  Later on, while sharing that experience with some of us family members who have had similar ones, my brother coined the new language “Waimé.”

Not long after, my brother and his wife were with an accountant doing some paperwork… and at some point they were told they needed a “Cosogusó.”  Flabbergasted, they had no idea what was being asked of them.  After some excruciating minutes, that “AHA!” moment returned when it dawned on them they were being asked for a “Cost of Goods Sold” form.

On a Degree of Difficulty scale of 1 to 10, “Cosogusó” was definitely a 10.  But slowly, the realization that this was actually a third “language” prompted all of us to become more proficient at it. 

The “Waimé” bug bit me recently as I was doing my own construction.  At one point my contractor turns to me and asks me to go buy some “colnevíl.”  Wow.  I felt my brother’s pain there.  But I was determined to come back with the correct material, so I wrote it down on a piece of paper… “colnevíl.”  It wasn’t until I was at the hardware store that I figured out what I was supposed to buy… “corner bead.”

Although not yet an expert on “Waimé”, I can easily recognize some of the words, like when someone was talking to me about choosing “Poingal” as their liability insurance on their car.  Of course, it helps that I’ve seen their commercials on TV.

I am however, able to seamlessly work “Waimé” into my own verbal conversations, as when telling someone I was outside checking “Feibu” while my wife was inside shopping at “Malchal.”  Speaking of my wife, she tends to stick to English sometimes, which can throw off the Spanish-speaking listener who might not immediately understand that she was actually at Marshalls.

We discussed on “Guasap” recently that she still needs to become more proficient at “Waimé.”

4 comments

  1. Wow bro this article brought back the memories of those moments when you scratch your head and wonder it’s your fault that you don’t know what he’s talking about.🤣🤣 I LMAO when you rated cosogusó 10 on the scale. And when you felt my pain with colnevíl. Good read Thanks for the laugh.

  2. I had a feeling you’d like it, bro. I’m sure there are a lot more examples I’m forgetting at the moment.

    This being said, I invite you as well as everyone to write in and bring up more examples of this new language “Waimé.” Thanks for your comments.

  3. Does “esmuti” count as “waimé”? I think I must have offended the girl at the fast food drive-thru when I responded “que si quiero ordenar un QUÉ????”

  4. Ha-ha, yes… it certainly counts. Except it may be slightly misspelled. A more accurate spelling for the pronunciation would probably be “ehmuti” (silent “s”). But yes Vanessa… you probably need to brush up on your “Waimé.” The girl at the drive-thru probably fully expected you to know this third language. Thanks for commenting, Vanessa… and for adding another word to the “Waimé” vocabulary.

Comments are closed.