What We’ve Learned From the Movies

With all the depressing news about the Coronavirus swirling around us nowadays, I thought it might be a good idea to post something totally unrelated.

So I was going through some old personal files (plenty of time for that with the “Stay at Home”), and came across an old document I had kept around.  I do not know the original source, but have seen similar lists on the Internet.  It is funny… and perfectly appropriate during these times of staying home and watching movies. 

So without further ado…….

Things You Would Never Know Without The Movies:

1. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
2. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing parade, at any time of the year.
3. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
4. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
5. During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
6. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place.
7. You’re very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
8. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
9. When paying for a taxi, don’t look at your wallet as you take out a bill… just grab one at random and hand it over.  It will always be the exact fare.
10. Kitchens don’t have light switches.  When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
11. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
12. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.
13. Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
14. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
15. Any person waking up from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
16. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
17. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.
18. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
19. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
20. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts.  Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
21. Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
22. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
23. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.

There are more, but these are some of my own favorites.  Which are your personal favorites?  And what other things would you not have known if it were not for the movies?