Daughters – “A Father’s Perspective”

Having been blessed with three beautiful daughters, I consider myself somewhat of an expert on this topic.  Actually I say that tongue-in-cheek because I don’t believe any of us are ever experts on a topic as complex as parenting.  That being said, I believe my wife and I have every reason to be proud for the job we’ve done. But mostly, we are thankful to God because it is He who makes all things possible.

Little girls are special blessings to fathers.  Early in life their fathers can do no wrong.  He is Superman, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.  We fathers are lucky in a way, because after all the labor pains and childbirth process endured by the mother, a daughter becomes “Daddy’s Little Girl.”  If we’re lucky, daughters will adopt the same interests as the dad, whether it be sports, cars, woodworking, or something else.

Somewhere along the line, they grow up and begin to like boys.  Teenage years can be somewhat challenging to a father-daughter relationship, but in my case I am happy to report they were fairly smooth in all cases.  It takes two parents every step of the way, and the mother’s role is always critical, especially in the teenage years.

Yet in strong father-daughter relationships, the father retains his “super-powers” even during the daughter’s teenage years.  That is particularly gratifying to us fathers who, from personal experience, I can attest to wanting to hang on to that Superman role as long as we possibly can.

When a daughter falls in love and gets married, it is the father of the bride who gives her away at the wedding ceremony.  It is a special, emotional moment… and I have had the honor and pleasure of doing this more than once.

As the daughter grows into married life, her world changes and expands to include her husband, who rightfully becomes the new focus in her life.  The daughter finds herself more and more in common ground with her mother, who is also a married woman.  It is during these years that the gradual, inevitable transition begins in the father-daughter relationship.  Now there is a husband to love and care for, and a mother to identify with and consult for many things.

At some point the daughter begins to have kids of her own.  She’s also set into her married life, many times encountering the same issues that the mother has faced at some point in her own marriage.  The bond between mother and daughter begins to grow, as is to be expected.  It is a beautiful thing, and I can happily say that our own daughters are all mothers themselves, and with a mother (my wife) young and energetic enough to “hang” with them and give them all sorts of advice.

By this time, the daughter’s relationship with her father has changed over the years.  No longer is dad the Superman of her childhood and maybe even her adolescent years.  His place in the totem pole invariably changes with the addition of new people in the daughter’s life, namely her husband and children, with the mother assuming a crucial, central role.

The father assumes a role of “elder statesman”, if you will.  Still present to love and support his daughters as needed… but in a much different role.  We have never been mothers, so there’s little in common there. 

In my own personal case, I have five beautiful grandchildren.  Among those grandchildren I have two granddaughters.  One is one and a half… and the other is 3 months old.  Having been a father of three beautiful daughters and having enjoyed every minute of their growing up, it seems like a wonderful cycle of life to have the oldest granddaughter call me “abuelo” (granddad) and blow me kisses. 

Although my terrific and very fortunate son-in-law will obviously be donning the Superman cape for his beautiful daughters… I will be busy finding my own super-hero costume for my new role.

Meanwhile, my own Superman costume has been retired and is now hanging in my closet.