Father’s Day Thoughts

Father’s Day is approaching… and I thought it would be appropriate to take time and reflect on my own father.

My father is no longer with us, sadly having passed away 12 years ago at the relatively young age of 74.  I say “relatively” because to some, that’s old.  But my father wasn’t your typical 74-year old at the time of his passing.  He seemed a lot younger than that, in a good way.

My father had his faults and his virtues, just like every other human being.  But his virtues overwhelmingly outweighed his faults, which as a result made him into one of the most extraordinary human beings I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.  It is a privilege being his son.

My father was a self-made man, which basically means he did not exactly have an exemplary upbringing… but he rose above that, and made something out of himself.  He married my mother and helped raise a family, giving his all at every turn.  More than a simple provider, he was a teacher… one who taught by example.

My siblings and I did not need to have our parents find ways to keep us from boredom.  We were not entitled.  We did not depend on our parents to keep us entertained… something that seems the norm nowadays.

My father taught us discipline.  No trying to reason with a bratty 4-year old.  “Because I said so” was a perfectly acceptable response to our insistent and defiant queries.  Nowadays parents seek to establish a “philosophical bond” with their children in order to get them to do what they must.

Adult conversations were adult conversations.  Barging in as children… we were not applauded nor told we were cute by trying to horn in on adult conversations.  We were instructed our place as children.  Our place in conversations came gradually as we grew.

My father was a man of his word.  A promise was more solid than a check from the bank.  Good or bad… promises were kept.  Punctuality wasn’t an option.  It was considered a breach of other people’s time, not to mention extremely inconsiderate, to be late to appointments, meetings, or any event where you had agreed to a time.

Even as adults with our own children, I for one recognized my father’s place as a wise elder of the family.  Just because he was not as computer savvy as I was… nor was privileged to attain the educational degrees I achieved… was no reason for me to push him aside, or disregard his opinions on things.  On the contrary, I personally sought and benefited from his wisdom till the day he died.

One of the greatest character virtues my father had was humility.  Being as wise as he was… knowing as much as he did… having so much to offer others… he remained humble (truly humble, not the fake “humility” so often seen in others)… and taught us the importance of always being humble.

In a society filled to the brim with “know-it-alls” and arrogant people, it is refreshing to meet someone with true humility.  It is probably one of the rarest commodities in all of society nowadays.  It is that rare ability to make others feel at ease and not try to overwhelm with your “knowledge” or “superiority.”

We were taught the art of forgiveness and asking for forgiveness.  If you hurt or offended someone… the wrong way to begin was to say “I’m sorry, but…”  You either accepted you were wrong, or never mind.  Half-apologies were not accepted.  On the other hand, my father could hold a grudge to some extent.  But like I said, he was not perfect.

My father had many acquaintances, but few true friends.  Those who met him absolutely loved him.  He was young at heart… loved good, quality times… and was always available for others.  He was a very generous man in every sense.

My father is truly missed.  Even now, I could envision myself sitting on his porch with drinks in hand, solving the world’s problems.

This Father’s Day, I thought I’d write a blog article about my father, one of the finest human beings I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.